The Purina Diet
Over the weekend I was at the local warehouse club buying a huge bag of Purina dog chow for our Labrador Retriever Sally. I was in the checkout line when woman behind me asked if I had a dog. My first thought was “what did she think I had, an elephant?” Rather than ending it there by saying yes, I told her that no, I didn’t have a dog and “I was starting the Purina Diet again.” Then I said that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but it was a great diet because I’d lost 50 pounds before I woke up in the intensive care unit.
I went on to tell her it was a nearly perfect diet. The way it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The dog food is nutritionally complete, it works well and I was going to try it again. By now everyone in line is listening in.
She then asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.
I told her no, “I was running around in the yard when I chased a tennis ball into the street and got hit by a car.”
She didn’t get it, but I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
TODAY: LAUGH IT UP. IT’S GOOD FOR YOU.
Tags: Diet Jokes
Daily Nag, Food Choices | Diet Nag | 
February 15, 2011 6:15 am
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